Infusion Church: Escondido, CA

Until children are mature in their faith, they understand God through their parents. How we live, what we teach, and the manner in which we discipline either demonstrates a God who cares and engages us in the process of sanctification for His glory, or a God who is impersonal, wishy-washy, and erratic. We are God's living example to our children of His love, grace, and law.

So how do we undertake our role in the spiritual lives of our children? Through demonstration, instruction, and discipline.

 

DEMONSTRATION

If we want our children to exhibit self-control or compassion, we start by setting the example. Educators call this "modeling" and it is the most powerful way children learn. What a child sees day in and day out is what that child will internalize.

To encourage our children to actively seek God and grow spiritually, we must tend to our own spiritual growth. A child will have a much deeper and richer understanding of relationship with God if we bring them along on our own journeys. We can share our spiritual life by including our children in our "grown-up" prayers; letting them see us reading the bible; sharing how we are consulting God on a major decision in life; or bringing the entire family to serve through mercy ministries in the community.

 

INSTRUCTION

Just as we teach our children how to use a fork or tie their shoes, we are also responsible to teach them about Jesus and His ways. Being patient does not come naturally to a three-year-old, not even to most adults! By nature, we all sinful and self-serving. Children do not become godly without being taught what is good and right.

No one can do this as well as a parent. A Sunday school teacher has an hour with the children once a week. Parents are present every day!

So what do we teach? Scripture, for one. We help our children identify the characteristics of God through the stories in the Bible. We can memorize verses as a family, or help our children memorize the verses they are learning in Sunday school.

We also teach our children how to talk to God. When we see them struggling with a decision or a difficult person at school, we can pray with them so that they learn to bring their lives to God and to seek His direction.

We teach righteousness: what it means to think of others first, to be honest, to take responsibility for our actions. And even though we know that we can never be perfect, we teach godly behavior. Wisdom prevents folly, and children who learn to make healthy choices early avoid having to learn through painful, life-altering consequences later.

 

DISCIPLINE

God is clear about the connection between discipline and love - the Bible tells us He disciplines those He loves. Just as we submit to God's leadership and instruction, so should our children submit to ours. This is how God set it up.

There are two major parts to effective discipline no matter what methods you prefer:  communication and consistency.

Communication includes clearly stating expectations, even explicitly teaching behavior. It requires listening to your child and determining what is going on in his heart which has resulted in disobedience to God. And it involves helping your child understand the sin in her heart and what it means to be repentant.

Consistency allows our children to learn to trust us. We confuse our children and teach them to be either fearful or manipulative when consequences are erratic or irrational. Likewise, when we yammer without exacting a real consequence, children learn that it is permissible to ignore authority. When we deliver consequences without losing our temper and do so after the first warning instead of the sixth, they know what to expect and they feel safe.

 

TAKE COMFORT  

This sounds like a huge task. And while it is, God does not expect perfection. We're going to make mistakes time after time. So when we blow it, we have an opportunity to model humility and repentance by explaining to our children what we did wrong and asking for forgiveness. What better way to teach the immense generosity of grace!

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