Infusion Church: Escondido, CA

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was asked this question at breakfast by a couple of friends as we discussed the challenge of prioritizing our life’s obligations. Typically, Christians tend to develop a hierarchy of priorities in their life, usually with God at the top, their spouse/family coming in second place, and church, work, ministry, sports teams, hobbies following in some order below everything else. I do think there are certain things God has called us to that should take precedent over other things; however, I was having a difficult time answering this question for me, because a few years ago I stopped compartmentalizing my life like this.

 

I have a few cautions for those who think family should be elevated over the church:

 

1. The tendency to elevate family as a second god. There is a reason Jesus described a true disciple as those who would leave their family for the sake of the Kingdom. Jesus certainly did not mean that you aren’t a disciple unless you’ve left your family, but rather that your family is not so exalted at the expense of completely following Jesus.
2. Using family as an excuse to avoid mission. There is an epidemic among American Evangelicals of filling up our lives, and probably more destructively, our kid’s lives with so many activities that there is very little time for God, theological education, Bible, devotion, simplicity, fellowship, and mission. The results are evident that the church in America is declining, and most Christians are biblically illiterate. How about having a fewer activities that you engage in as a family for the purpose of mission, then committing to mission projects and intentionally loving your neighbors as a family? Chances are, your kids aren’t going into the NFL, MLB, or MLS anyway. They hopefully will be mission-minded Christ-followers the rest of their lives, though. 
3. Forgetting that our church is the eternal and more significant family. One of the things that irks me most is when I hear about a person removing their family from fellowship in the church in order to “focus on my family.” Probably one of the most destructive things you can do for your family is remove them from regular, authentic Christian fellowship with their greater Christian family. I still have a lot to learn about what this really looks like in our culture, but I love the fact that my daughters look forward to their time with their Christian family. They know they need the church just as badly as they need me to be daddy. I’m glad they have Christian friends of all ages, genders, and places in life. I’m glad there are other Christians to speak into their lives and disciple them. I’m thankful that they have a heart for the lost and see their small but significant role in God’s great story.
4. Forgetting the “as you go” clause of the Great Commission. The Great Commission in Matthew 28:19-20 starts with “Go…” This could literally be translated, “As you go…” We forget that our whole lives are Christian. God has put us in all sorts of circumstances, places, and relationships as the church to be the church. It isn’t that we sometimes go and make disciples as another thing to check off our action list. Rather, as Christians part of our identity is that of disciple-makers. “As you go…” is not a program, but a way of life, and one that we involve ourselves in as families. 

The question of priority of family over church is the wrong question. What we should be asking ourselves is, “What does it look for my family to live out its God-given call as a part of the church?”

 

I imagine I’ve raised a lot of questions in your mind. In my post next week, I’ll address the question of what importance our families should have as a follower of Christ.

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