Husbands DO Make Lousy Gods... and Wives Make Lousy Holy Spirits

  • Jackie Rovell
  • Apr 28, 2010
  • Series: Infusion Blog

blogpic_Jackie  by Jackie Rovell

 

This past Sunday, John was preaching from John 21:1-14. At some point during his teaching, he specifically addressed the ladies by informing us that husbands make lousy gods. Essentially reminding us as wives, that we have a tendency to expect more from our husbands than we should. One of the wives spoke up from the audience, and because I was sitting back in the cafe', I didn't hear what she said. The laughter and follow-up comment from John led me to believe she somehow (perhaps wholeheartedly) concurred with John's statement. Maybe the laughter came from some perceiving that her agreement with John's statement was a put down of her husband. My reaction was quite the opposite; I immediately thought- "That is one wise woman!" Assuming my perception of this interactive blip during the sermon is accurate (I really could have all of this backwards), I sensed that what was (possibly) seen as a put down of a husband was actually a confession from a former idol worshipping wife. 

It is a wise woman who recognizes that her husband cannot possibly meet all of her needs. He wasn't designed to. She shouldn't expect him to. Expectations have gotten me in trouble as a wife- expecting my husband to be at a certain place spiritually, expecting him to understand the complexities of my emotions and to comfort me, expecting him to lead while I still want to hold the reigns. Those are just a few. Over the past few years, 1 Peter 3 has become my GO TO place when I'm grappling with how I'm supposed to be as a wife. 

"Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of of clothing- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves..." (1 Peter 3:3-5)

Because by nature, I'm not gentle or quiet, I've had a hard time truly applying this scriptural insight to my 20 year plus marriage. The underlined part, a critical reminder. I've learned that as I lay my expectations of my husband down at the feet of my Savior, as I hope in God, the Lord is able to work more freely in my less than perfect husband (sorry dear). Also, as I get out of the way, the Lord shows me that He is a far, far, infinitely far better Holy Spirit than I could ever be. 

A wise wife de-thrones her husband as she recognizes he wasn't created to meet all of her needs, and she de-thrones herself as she stops expecting and demanding that he do so. Christ, and Christ alone, is on the throne redeeming and restoring His fallen creation one sinner, saved by grace, at a time. Christ will meet all our needs. As wives, let's EXPECT that!