Matter

  • John Alwood
  • Apr 20, 2010
  • Series: Infusion Blog

blogpic_john  by John Alwood

 

One thing I've been doing lately is going back and reading some of my old journals and revisiting some of the things I've written during some of the darker days of my life. It is a good reminder for me that Jesus is my Savior and my Peace.

Depression has been one of my recurring struggles ("thorns in the flesh," if you will). About 10 years ago, I went through a pretty dark period. During that season of my life, I spent a lot of time contemplating scripture, particularly the effects of sin. Psalm 13 was a key scripture for me during that time because the Psalmist is so honest about his lack of hope, yet still recognizes that the only chance he has at experiencing true life is in God.

One of my writings I stumbled across today came out of this season of my life. I don't know if poetry is your thing, but nevertheless, it expressed the darkness that I felt enveloping around me during that time of my life, and still the hope I had in Jesus through it.

MATTER

Deceptive tones of inner voice

                 threaten to leave

                         abandoned to the immeasurable abyss

                     defeated

                             dull

            bludgeoned with charcoal lips

Ingratiating sentiments darken intentions

endeavoring to intensify Glory


Then

an abyssal peace

a transcendent anticipation

realized with Amorous Matter